Ambling around Asda tonight I walked past a muscly black man with dodgy skin. Saw him again in the checkout queue 3 down from me. En route back to my caar with trolleyfull of goods, he appears and says hello and tries to talk to me in a decidedly weird accent. I said hello and carried on walking. He follows me to my car and gives me the old "I think we've met" line. "I don't think so" I say politely. he asks for my phone number, I lie and say "I have a boyfriend". "He pretty much doesn't care - "take a chance" he says in his dodgy foreign accent. "Er no, I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested", and I get in my car.
The bloody car then won't start, as he stands outside my window and taps on it. I'm glad that other people are around in neighbouring cars, watching me. Car starts - I wind my windown down "take a chance" he says again, "no thanks, bye" I say. "Maybe I'll see you again" he says as I back out of my parking space. "Sure", I say in my head, "when World Peace is here".
I've never been picked up in a Supermarket before, and in my newly-single state of mind it was quite flustering. Also I was pissed because he totally wasn't my type and didn't care when I said I wasn't interested and was with someone.
Driving home pondering it, I spotted the local pub beer garden - FULL of Morris Dancers, in their extremely gay outfits, standing around swilling pints. Staring at them and sniggering, I then caught the double flash of a fucking speed camera as I went thru it at 40+mph - FUCK!
I'm hoping that I won't get done - don't these cameras run out of film or something? But knowing my luck I'm screwed, another 3 points and f*cking £60. FUCKITY!!!