"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by Dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become."
- Steve Jobs

Monday, July 17, 2006

Life and ruminations

Been a long time since I waffled about life, the universe etc on here....but on Sunday a display pilot from a nearby airfield crashed into the back garden of a house in my friend's village, and was killed instantly. My friend saw the crash from another old WW2 airfield as she stood on top of the old Control Tower. She saw the plane looping and turning and running through it's display, then she saw it spiral towards the earth, heard the engine cut out, then saw the black smoke on the horizon. Had that pilot struggled to steer away from the houses in his last moments of life on earth? In his terror of knowing what was about to happen, were his last thoughts of the innocent people below him?

How many times was this scene repeated over 60 years ago as American Airmen at that same WW2 control tower watched as their buddies in cripped flak-ridden B17s struggled to reach the runway but crashed and were incinerated alive - so close to home and safety.

Thinking about the unfortunatel pilot it was awful to think that on that lovely sunny warm day, he had woken up totally unaware that today would be his last day on earth. Eating his breakfast he will have talked about going for a flight, then maybe meeting his mates later on for a barbeque in the evening sun. He may have said bye to his family, expecting to see them later, and they won't have given it another thought - presuming that yes, they would see him later.

Every day we wake up could be our last day on earth, and we are blissfully unaware of that fact. Every day we wake up AT SOME POINT in the future may be the day earmarked for us to leave this earth - maybe in 20,30 or 40 years time, maybe in 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days? This day in 50 years time I may gasp my last breath as an old woman....I wonder what day it will be?

I like to think that every life decision we make sends us off into another parallell universe, made entirely from the consequences of that one life decision we made. That our lives are like huge trees with many branches, each branch representing our lives depending on what decisions we did or didn't make...so many different outcomes, situations, fortunes or misfortunes. Like the movie "Sliding Doors" where we can see the two lives Gwynneth Paltrow leads, depending on whether she missed or caught a tube train.

How I'd like to climb MY tree and follow some of those branches and see other lives I could have led. What if I'd stayed in Hull? Married a previous boyfriend? Never come to Norwich? Never got that job or bought that house? Where would I be now? Would I have a superfantastic life, or would I be trapped in a spiral of despair? If I'd left the house to drive down the motorway just 15 minutes later would I have been involved in that pile-up, would I be dead? If I'd taken that job instead of the other job I may have met a fantastic guy with pots of money who whisked me off to live a life of luxury? If things had worked out with my Australian ex would I be destined for a warm and sunny life Down-Under? I'd just love to see.

I can trace my lifes progress right back to when I first went on the internet, with my poxy little 56k modem. The internet definitely changed my life.....thru the internet I joined various karting forums, and met new friends....through those friends I met my Australian boyfriend and moved to Norwich to be nearer him....through him I was lucky enough to travel to Australia 4 times and do some fantastic scuba diving and jetskiing, and swimming with dolphins. Through coming to Norfolk I developed an interest in the 8th Air Force and WW2 aviation, and through that I started the swing dancing and met a whole new circle of friends, including my current bloke. Through meeting him I've travelled to America and had a dream flight on a B17 bomber
and met dozens of USAF veterans, a rare privelige.

Now I am secure here in Norwich with a great job and a house, and plenty to fill my days and good friends to fill them with.

What would my life be like had I never gone on the internet? Where would I be now?? And as I wake up tomorrow will it be my last day on earth? As I cycle to work will I see the car coming up behind me? When I see those that I care for should I always show that I care for and value them, just in case I never get that chance again?

We shoudl maybe all stop taking life for granted.....

1 comment:

madpiano said...


phew, had to sign up to this site to be able to post a comment.
I like your last post. It's the Sliding Doors theme. But I have learnt over the years that "what if..." just drives me crazy, so I no longer play that game.MSN spaces is pretty messed up at the moment. If you pop over to my blog and you get a "server not found" message, keep trying. It may take 10 attempts, but the site is still there. It has too much on it for me to leave it and move over here and I hope MS fixes it soon...

Have fun