I went to a fortieth birthday party on Saturday - friend of a friend....I won't go into too much detail in case one of the comes across this blog :-D But HELL it was scary!
I discovered I'm physically incapable of making chit-chat conversation with Fortysomething couples. It's SO BORING. Is that because they can't really be bothered to make chit-chat with you, since you are only sharing a few hours together at this party then would likely never meet again?
They talk about washing machines, their kids, their kids, their houses, their TV, their work their holidays, so-and-so who went into hospital for that Thing with her hand......I tried to feign interest but I just couldn't. I wondered what they USED to be like before age, "settling down", kids, and being 40+ did things to them.
Then they ask a bit about me, and thus follows: "Hi I'm Rache, I keep rats, sew fuzzy furniture for them to sleep in, like whiskey, am starting fencing classes soon, learning Arabic, hate kids and my ambition is to own a Lotus".
*cue tumbleweed* I think the horror of me keeping rats shuts them down then and there, and nothing else I say will redeem me in their eyes.
They probably didn't realise I'm 34 either I don't think, such was the lack of cellulite, stretch marks, and child-worrylines on my forehead. Maybe I was just unlucky to come across a particularly boring bunch of people. But when they got some drink down them and hit the dancefloor it was at once excruciating and at the same time car-crash viewing. Cue lots of fortysomethings trying to a) dance sexy, b) dance in time to the music, while all the men did what Billy Crystal once called "the white man's overbite".
I did manage to have a good natter with one woman about SatNav though, but her eyes were dead as she talked - just chit-chat, I'll never see her again, she's sitting there looking bored so I'll talk to her.
So as my friends creep nearer to 40 will I be faced with endless parties like this one? Aaargh I hope not!