Can we stoop any lower

ITV have really taken the cake with their "Celebrity Love Island". FFS can we scrape any more off the bottom of the barrel?

Concept: Take a bunch of Z-List "Celebs" who are desperate for any sort of publicity, shove them all on a Fijiian island, and hope they shag eachothers brains out. Oh but we can't show the shagging, cos we're a responsible family TV channel. That's why we are rotting your brains with this mindless, pointless CRAP that dumbs down TV even more.

The "Celebrities" include such luminaries as:

* Beckham-shagger Recebba Loos whose last TV deed included wanking off a pig
* Media-whore-orgy-freak Abi Titmuss (Hereafter known as "Scabi Titface")
* Liz from Atomic Kitten (you know, the cute one that can NEARLY sing)
* Once-cool Geordie TV presenter Jayne Middlemiss
* Wannabe "IT" girl Lady Isabella Hervey
* Calum Best (only claim to fame seems to be the famous alcoholic footballer dad)
* "Nightclub-owner" and Jodie-Marsh-shagger Fran Cosgrave, who is quoted on the breathlessly syrupy ITV website as saying "All you needed to romance me used to be two pints of Guinness, a bag of crisps and a push-up bra"

Now these are the kind of people you want to take home to your mum aren't they? They just EPITOMISE romance in every way! What a fucking excellent choice of wonderful people to bracket under the word LOVE!!!!!

I tuned into this one night and was amazed at the levels of boredom, absurdity and banality of the shite they wibbled on about. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT FUCKING CELEBRITIES!!! The very word CELEBRITY has been shat on, cheapened, and devalued beyond any hope of rescue, by these piss-poor excuses for human beings that continually invade the tabloid rags, the chat shows, the "Sleb" magazines, and anywhere else that may afford them any sort of publicity. They have achieved nothing but airing their filthy rancid knob-cheese, breast implants, and kiss and tell rubbish to a population that seems to find who they shag interesting and whose continuing interest in their no-hoper lives will keep fuelling trash TV like this until we all fucking wake up and start ignoring these filthy turds of humanity.

The "Sleazy Senorita" Rebecca Loos once again dragged up her Beckham affair and wibbled on about how Posh weighed 8 stone - WOW! I was transfixed! Scabi Titface whined on about orgies and lesbian affairs and porn TV, and Fran burbled about how he had his heart broken at the tender age of 19. I cried buckets .... really ... no, I did really!

The ITV website is a must for a laugh a minute, the webmasters there must have sick bagks permenantly installed at their desks. Tune in at http://www.celebrityloveisland.tv/ for such gems as:

"Given that our Fijian hideaway is ram-packed full of megastars, it’s sometimes difficult to remember who they actually all are" and "Abi Titmuss is famous for many things beginning with ‘s’, but until tonight you might not have thought that spelling was one of them"

I personally would like to track down the morons who conceived this programme and put them up against a firing squad. No, actually that's too good for them, too quick a death. Maybe force them to spend an hour with Ms Titface or Ms Loos, to listen to them whine about how they have been "unfairly treated" and "misrepresented" by the media that they so intensly court.

I know that "reality" TV is really a farce, all pre-arranged, all planned out, all geared to shock and to bring in viewers. My own small brush with Reality TV opened my eyes to it all, but these Slebs willingly go along with it and do whatever they are told, like puppets, like those people on 80s TV-fest The Word "The Hopefuls" who did anything to get on TV, including drinking their own puke, bathing in cow shit, and snogging toothless grannies.

Our Love Island Puppets will happily get horny with whoever the programmers tell them to, safe in the knowledge it will bring along another kiss and tell front page SUN newspaper headline, ousting such unimportant headlines as "Iraq security chief assassinated". Dutifully followed by more gushing OK Magazine "How we found love as we shagged up a palm tree" articles. And so it will continue - AS LONG AS IDIOTS OUT THERE CARRY ON WATCHING AND READING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.

YOU HAVE TO STOP - NOW! It's the only way to stem this flow of TV TRIPE. It worked for "Celebrity Wrestling", that was withdrawn after poor viewing figures, and it can work for Love Island and any other Reality TV programme that is foisted upon us. FFS Big Brother is hitting our screens soon, isn't that enough tripe?????

Last Saturday's Daily Mail featured an article by ex-Mirror editor Piers Morgan, about how the reign of Z-list celebs is now over. Ironic for a guy who helped to build the Celebrity Culture in the first place, but I bloody hope he's right.