So I finished with my boyfriend, because I realised it wasn't working but mainly because I freaked out being "dependent" on him for my living (ie sharing the mortgage on a house). Now I am buying out his share of the house and taking it on myself (with a little help from the parents and my future inheritance ).
As is perfectly understood, he has downed tools and taken them all home, and is now leaving me to it - and there are several DIY jobs that still need finishing. Kitchen and bathroom tiling, bathroom, hall walls to prep and paint, hall and landing flooring, complete revamp of the downstairs loo, radiator to be installed in said loo and also the hall, fitted wardrobe to be put up in sewing room, skirting boards in the lounge, 3 cupboards to shelve out, wardrobe in main bedroom too, and double glazing to 5 more windows. Not to mention the lawn rotorvating and reseeding.
He departed the house the last time I saw him with the words "if you need any help just ask". I haven't asked him to do any of the above DIY jobs cos really that'd be a bit taking the piss. I've asked if his garage would change my cam belt and he helpfully suggested that I find somewhere in Norwich to do it as I'd have to "wait a few hours" for the job to be done, and he obviously doesn't want me "waiting a few hours" at his place. I asked him to come and remove the pile of rubble in the back garden that he wants for his driveway, and now he's "busy all next week and the week after and I can remove it myself if I want". Well I don't bloody want, there's loads of it and it's too heavy for me to move myself. he can come and bloody get it. On learning of me getting handyman quotes he just said "I hope you find a decent one", then offered to do it himself IF I PAID HIM. Yep, "just ask if you need any help". I can just hear him putting down the phone and saying "you wanted independence love, here you are......" I totally agree with him, it's like if I'd been building him a huge website and he dumped me, I'd be hitting the DELETE key on his website. But I get pissed when people say "just ask if you need help" then totally DON'T help when you ask. At least be honest and say "get on with it love, see you in 10 years".
So now I'm getting handyman quotes to shelve out my three huge cupboards (£60 not too bad) and also to rotorovate the lawn in readiness for reseeding (another £60).
Althought to finish the house totally will now cost me £££££ and take a couple of years at least, I would prefer it cost me £££ than for me to go grovelling to him for help. On Saturday I bought an electric sander and some refills for the belt sander we bought together, and I attacked the hall walls with relish, sanding, smoothing, and filling the crappy walls in readiness for painting. I painted the hall and landing ceilings, bought a garden storage chest, and cleared out the other shed so there is room for my bike (get it out of the hallway!) I can't wait for the cupboards to be shelved as then the whole house will be decluttered when I shove it all inside them.
I felt a lot better doing all that myself than just sitting back waiting for him to do it. So I'll just deal with bare-walled bathrooms and crappy hall flooring for a year or so longer, it will be done in the end and even though I'll be paying someone to do it, I will feel more of a sense of achievement about it.
I can't wait for the summer - sitting out back in a hammock looking over the newly-seeded lawn, designing a garden layout for it, enjoying the warmth and silence of the house all to myself. I've decided that for the foreseeable future I will only want a man around when I need DIY doing .