"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by Dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become."
- Steve Jobs

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

True Wife Confessions website

While uttelry bored at work (again) I stumbled upon the True Wife Confessions website. And this particular caught my eye:

"Confession #2630

I am so disappointed in myself. And so jealous of her. We are the same age. We both graduated from high school the same year, went to college and both have a bachelor's degree. She makes $50,000 a year and I make $14.00 an hour. I feel like a failure. That should be me. I'm just as smart, just as capable as her. The difference? I have 2 kids. The position she was given over me requires her to travel 75% of the time. I am not in a position to do that because of my children. I cannot be away from home for extended periods of time and overnight.

I love my children so much...so why do I resent them and feel like they are holding me back from a promotion? When I see her in the office (she has an office with a door and I work FOR her from a cubicle), I feel insufficient. I doubt myself. She is going on to get her master's. I can barely afford $200 a week in daycare, I can't even consider going back to school. She immediately got a job in her field of study after college and has 7+ years experience. Me? I worked at a zoo, then for a graphics company, then I had a baby and another baby. Now that I actually have a job relevant to my degree I have zero experience. If I hadn't married young, if I hadn't started a family so soon, if I had chosen a career path and stuck to it - I could be where she is. My husband has a good job, but does not even have a college education and he makes $20 an hour. My self esteem is in the toilet. I know I can't compare the joy of having two beautiful, healthy children to having a career, but I will be fully honest and say I wish I was where she is instead of where I am. And I get even more depressed about feeling that way. "

Shit I'm glad I've never had kids or never intend to.....I'm sure she does love hers to death but how many regrets are trapped inside her now? How many "what ifs" and "if onlys"?

Yet she made the choice to have kids...didn't it occur to her back then that she'd be giving up so much, and was it worth it? Only now she is looking back and having regrets. Her life is no longer her own. Kids are a life sentence. And I never intend to enter prison!

1 comment:

Trini Fugitive said...

I just wanted to drop by to thank you for that comment on TWC. I really needed to hear something like that :-)