The Mile high Club

So all the Sunday papers are today full of the blonde air hostess that shagged Ralph Fiennes, selling her story about their "passion" in an aeroplane toilet. How Fiennes, who was on his way to a UNICEF conference about AIDS, didn't bother to put a Johnny on (do as I say not as I do) and how they continued their shenanigans in his hotel suite when the plane landed.

Then she speaks of her "heartache" because she thought "the experience was a lot more than just about sex" and how upset she is that he didn't help her lie to keep her job, when her antics were discovered, and how she "hoped there would be an ongoing friendship". And now she is all angry that she has "been used" and so is whoring her story to all the papers for every penny she can grab.

"He is a millionaire movie star and I'm a struggling air hostess on £12,000 a year. I have financial problems and nothing to fall back on. What will I do now?" she whines. WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU DROPPED YOUR KNICKERS LOVE. I mean, exactly what did you expect you stupid bint? A marriage proposal? A proper relationship? Ralph ending his career to be with "the one he truly loves"? I don't bloody think so. "I'd like to introduce my wife, we met after I shagged her in a Qantas toilet......"

You gave him everything he wanted within the first 5 minute of meeting, why would he want anything else to do with you? You cheapened yourself by letting him screw you like a common slut in a back alley, why would that attract him to you for a future relationship? Most men wouldn't turn down sex on a plate if it was offered to them, but deep down afterwards they'd probably not view the giver of the sex as anything more than just a quick bang. They'd never admit it, but they wouldn't respect the woman at all. Men like the chase and the pursuit, so don't give them the "kill" straight away FFS.

So next I expect to see Miss Robertson starring in an amateur porn film about her adventures, then turning into the next Abi Titmuss, and turning up at the opening of an envelope. Why the fuck do newspapers give these people column space? Why am I even wasting 10 minutes of my life writing about this???!!